When Grownups Don’t Notice You
Did you ever pick flowers for your parents or other grownups when you were little? Or do you remember doing something else that seems silly and small now, but back then it put the biggest smile on their face?
Maybe as a teen you feel like no matter what you do now it’s never right. Whether it’s your grades, your attitude or your clothes, grownups always have something to complain about. Maybe you wish you could go back to the days when it was easy to make them smile.
Little gestures of thoughtfulness are called bids. Bidding is an invitation to connect, to enjoy each other, and to experience the world together.
A lot of adults don’t know that.
A lot of teens bid in ways that are different than what they did when they were kids. Maybe now you punch your dad’s shoulder, or try to show your grownup your favorite song even though you know they’ll hate the lyrics. Maybe you yell at them when you really want a hug. Or you do something kind, and they don’t even notice.
Sometimes grownups forget to watch for bids. We get busy. We get stressed. We get cranky.
The next time you bid, if your grownup doesn’t notice, say, “That was a bid!”
Tell them Harriet said to pay attention to their teens bids. Tell them you miss when you were little and bidding was as easy as bringing them a flower.
Maybe it can still be that easy. Try it out and see!
Have you ever noticed when you go into a classroom without assigned seating that everyone sits in pretty much the same place every time anyway? Do you do that? Do you have your favorite seat in math class, because it’s by your friend, and your favorite seat in Spanish class, because you can look out the window? I know lots of teens and adults who are this way.
Humans are creatures of habit.
If the teacher walks into the classroom and announces a new seating chart or that everyone has to move to the other side of the room, if you’re like most of us, you will moan and groan. Why? You can’t talk to your friend during class anyway. The other side of the room isn’t vastly different. Why do you feel like it’s a big deal?Read More
All I wanted was to pull in my garage, walk in my house and go to bed. After a long day of traveling, I was so tired and couldn’t wait to go to sleep. I pulled in the garage, got out of my car and walked to the back door. I hit the garage door button, and the door began to close. Then it stopped. I punched the button again. The door went back up. I hit the button. The door began to lower and then went right back up.Read More
I didn’t think about it until it was too late.
Andrew had to wear a tie to school.
It’s customary for the football players to dress up on game days. I knew this, but I had never equated “dressing up” to wearing a tie—a tie that Andrew didn’t know how to tie—until now.
Our lifestyle rarely requires Andrew to wear a tie, and in the past when one was required, he’s chosen a pre-tied bow tie. But now that he was in high school, he wanted to wear a regular tie.
It was 6:00 am, I am a single mom, his dad doesn’t live with us, and neither Andrew nor I knew how to tie a tie. In 15 short minutes, we needed to leave for school.
Andrew came barreling down the stairs, freaking out.Read More